Getting Emotional Support in a Divorce



Most people do not enter marriage with the thought that someday it may be over. Instead, they look forward to sharing many years of matrimony, watching their children grow, and creating beautiful memories together. When that dream is shattered by divorce, it’s normal to experience a wide array of emotions. You have to adjust to a whole new existence. Your finances may change, you may have to find a new place to live, share custody of your children if children are involved, and more. Obviously, if you’re going through a divorce, you may need legal support. However, receiving emotional support is just as important.

The first step in getting the emotional support you need may be acknowledging that you’re struggling emotionally and need support. If you’re like most people, you may experience grief, anxiety, depression, fear, loneliness, guilt, and anger. These feelings may occur in varying degrees at different stages of the divorce process, and they are all normal.

However normal these feelings may be, it does not mean that they’re not difficult. In fact, the very thought of coping with the changes in your life can feel overwhelming and debilitating.  Many people going through a divorce experience some degree of situational depression. There are a few places that you can turn for help.

You can begin by finding a friend or family member who will listen and allow you to vent your feelings, talk about your fears, and possibly offer comforting advice. It’s best to choose someone you trust, and who you know won’t be judgmental. Choosing someone who wasn’t close to you and your former partner when you were together may be advisable. Someone too close to your marriage may not be able to remain neutral.

Even if you have supportive friends, you may find value in sharing your feelings with people who have gone or are going through divorce themselves. Support groups are often sponsored by community centers and religious institutions. They provide a space for people in different stages of adjustment to their divorce to come together to educate and support one another. Support groups are confidential places where you can share your feelings and know you’ll be understood.

If sharing the intimate details of your life with people you know isn’t your style, counseling might be a great alternative. A counselor is not only trained in listening and helping you understand your feelings, but they can also offer strategies for managing stress, grief, and help you rebuild a healthy life after divorce. He or she also provides a safe space for you to talk about the private details or feelings that may be too difficult to speak about with friends or family.

We all have a desire to feel safe and secure. However, when going through a divorce, this can be difficult to achieve. If you’re going through a divorce, make your mental health a priority. Finding the proper emotional support can make a significant difference in your emotional well-being and forming healthy future relationships.


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About the Author: Kyle M. Janes

Kyle grew up in Meadville and attended Meadville Area Senior High. He attended college at Allegheny College. Upon graduating from the University of Pittsburgh School of Law, Kyle returned to Meadville to serve the community where he grew up.

Kyle has a diverse family law practice, including divorce, support, custody, juvenile dependency, adoption, pre-nuptial agreements, protection from abuse, and other domestic relations issues. His compassion for his clients and his knowledge of the law allow him to work on a full range of cases, from simple to complex.

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